Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RACE TO THE SUN
JOHN ABRAHAM
John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
John looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BILL GATES......KANTIBHAI !!!
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.
5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
500 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.
498 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?'
Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho'
The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'
Bill Gates was amazed to see both potential candidates talking fluently, friendly. He decided to hire both of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE MAN..............1 JOB!!!
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Gujarati, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.
The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who illed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question.
He replied Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
Finally the Gujarati arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question.
He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?"
The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
When the Gujarati arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?"
Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GAME OF INTELLIGENCE
A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
WHAT WUD U THINK ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEWTON IN ROMANTIC MOOD
Universal law:
" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from
One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "
First law:
" A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "
Second law:
" The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "
Third law:
" The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while slapping."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RESERVATION WHAT A FUN
Have a look at this! How convincingly an intelligent man speaks out his heart at the no-sense move made by Indian politicians. I hope that strikes them somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wipro chairman Mr. Azim Premji's comment on reservation:
I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start the reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified accordingly.
The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by an OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared as a century.
We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player.
Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 km/ hour to an OBC player.
Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.
Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters.
There can be reservation in Government jobs also. Let's recruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country...)
Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country...)
Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIA forward...
Let's show the world that INDIA is a GREAT country.
Let's be proud of being an INDIAN...
May the good breed of politicians like ARJUN SINGH long live...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOLLYWOOD MISTAKES
Baghban : Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera. They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month
period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September!
Lagaan : Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie.
Amar Akbar Anthony : Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person.
Awwal Number: Dev Anand is an omnipotent genius -- former
cricketer,captain, army chief, commissioner, you name it. And Aamir Khan carries a huge transistor in his pocket while batting.
Khalnayak : The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen. something that office team will be interested in.
Pyar To Hona Hi Tha : Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.
Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi : Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America .
Well, well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways. Since when did they start flying international?
Raja Hindustani : Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience!
Raja : Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!
Guddu : Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SARDAR WITH BRAIN
A Sardar and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from
Los Angelesto New York. The American asks if he would
like to play a fun-game.
The Sardar, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he
politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know
the answer, you pay me 5 $ , and vice versa."
Again, the Sardar declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't
know the answer, you pay me $5,
and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the sardar's attention and, figuring there
will be no end to this torment,
agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the
distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardar doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,
pulls out a $5 bill and
hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Sardar asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs
and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.
Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Sardar and
hands him $500.
The Sardar thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the
Sardar and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardar reaches into his purse, hands
the American 5 $ ,
and goes back to sleep!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ASCII SMS
,** ..
( ö, )( ", )
((")(")(")(")
The nicest place
in the 'world' is right beside someone like u.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<<
(",) Dis Ant is
<( )> looking 4 u
,,J L,,
>> and he
(,") misses u a
/( )> lot
,,J L,,
//
(,")> WHY?
<( )'
,,J L,,
coz ur such a HORNY DEVIL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.-. .-.-. .-.
! " ! " !
"-..-"'-..-" MY
SWEET HONEY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q'''''''p HÉy!
( ü )@ Lükìn
o( )'/ 4 mé?
Ø ''' Ø
I knöw
Ü MìSS MÉ...
Büt téll ü söméthìng...
ì mìss ü möre.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( ' ) its ME! / /
( ) )
( ' )
/ /
( ) )
( ')
/ /
( ) /
(')
; /
( )'
(')
; )
(')
(é UR ANGEL
; ) IN
(é DISGUISE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
__?_
/____? .;';';';.
,,l__?_l l ,,,,)(,,,
This loving house is my gift for u.So plz go inside & sleep well,nice dreams.
"Good Nite"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day l went 2 ZOO. So many animals were there.
(>. .<) "v" Mouse
(@v@)
( "=" )
Owl
o(o¿o)o
(!)'(!)
Monkey
(@¿@)
"(<>)”
aaila ! Tum bhi
l”l________
–/ l__l Delivery
| | ________
L(o)__l___(o)__|
This van is loaded with
LOVE n CARE,
Wishing U and your family
A HAPPY DIWALI
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kafi dino se sms nahi bheja,
Chalo sit stand kro
<@>
Y
.IL
<@>
<>
<@>
Y
.IL
<@>
<>
<@>
Y
.IL
Chalo bus karo ainda
SMS kertay rehna.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
F R I E N D S H I P
,;*�*;, is like
*; ,;* a
__)(____ TRee…..
It is not MEASURED by how TALL it could be,
but how deeply the roots have grown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“””\/”””l
l USKURAO
l__l’v’l__l
OR
!”‘”!_!’””!
! _ ANSO
!__! !__!
Har Pal
l””””/
l D )
L___\ IL SE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APRIL FOOL SMS
Tamam bewaqufon
ko ittala di jati hai…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aap to aise parh rahe hen
jaise ye ittala aap k liye ho.:p
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am your girlfriend:
Smart.
Intelligent.
Sweet.
Talented.
Excllent.
Romantic.
theek kaha na ?
In short I am your S.I.S.T.E.R. :p
Happy april fools day...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If today any 1 talks & praises u 4 ur
1) gud looks
2 ) nature
3 ) style
4 ) attitude,
kick them off.
How dare they fool u before april 1st...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANNIVERSARY SMS
Marriage is that relation between
man and women in which
the Independence is Equal,
the Dependence mutual and
the Obligation Reciprocal”.
Best wishes for Happy Wedding Anniversary...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I LOVE U are words just three,
which mean so much on our ANNIVERSARY.
so this is what i want to say,
live in my heart n there 4 ever stay!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing in this world Could ever be
As wonderful as the love You’ve given me
Your love makes my days so very bright,
just knowing you’re my darling wife(Husband).
Happy Wedding Anniversary!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How true my feelings were
I found out to be The best thing
in my life Was when you married me
Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband),
For the years we share I know one
thing for sure We make a wonderful pair...!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Long after our anniversary
And
this greeting has been thrown away
Think of the thought behind it,
Each and everyday,
Happy Anniversary...!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoping that the love u shared years ago
Is still as strong today as it was
then Bringing u much joy , love
and happiness To celebrate again.
Happy Anniversary...!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On this special day,
best wishes go to you,
that this wonderful love u share,
lasts ur lifetime through.
Happy anniversary to you my Love...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the beautiful couple in all the land,
May your anniversary be Happy and Grand.
Happy Anniversary...!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best wishes to you both on your anniversary,
May the love that u share Last your lifetime through,
As u make a wonderful pair.
Happy Wedding Anniversary...!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m sending this bouquet of love
To say that I love you so much
I hope I say it often enough
I want you to know it’s true,
On this special occasion
I want to remind you
That you are my everything
And
my love is true,Happy Anniversary Lover!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ADULT SMS
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - Why?
Reason - Because she didn't know anything,
and he had forgotten everything..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ladki & Tea me hamesha 7Qualitis dekho:
1. Garam ho
2. Gori ho
3. Tez ho
4. Meethi ho
5. Doodh zyada ho
6. Do minute me taiyar ho
7. Raat ko Sone na deti ho.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pehle KISS karo,
phir PALANG per leta do,
phir CHADDI utar do,
phir NICHE haath lagao,
Aur check karo k
BABY ne SUSU kiya kya..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband having SEX with his pregnant wife.
Husband ne zor se jhatka lagaya to wife boli
"Reduce the speed, Aagay aabaadi hai."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek callgrl ka janaza nikala to use
dek ek admi bola chalo accha hua
akhir apas me dono mile to sahi,
Dusre ne pucha kaun dono?
Ans:USKI Taange!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hindi k teacher ne medical store par sharmate huye condom manga
srimanji,ek virya rodhak tel yukt prajanan virodhi raksha kavach dijiye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy to girl-:
AAJ tumne belt gutne par kyon bandhi hai.
GIRL :
maine mummy se promise kiya hai ki tumhe BELT
SE NICHE TOUCH nahi karne doongi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 Inch ka hai.
.
Size normal he
.
.
Mazboot he
.
.
Ziyadah mota bhi nahin he
.
.
2 larkiyan dekh chuki hain
.
.
Lena he to bolo?
Full Time Masti
Non stop Fun
Mera…
.
LG Ka 195...!!!
Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study.....
BARISH/RAINY DAY
The Taste Of Oranges
The Walk In Frost
The Golden Sunlight
The Beauty Of Autumn Colors
The Magic Of Wet Red Leaves
“Happy first rain of winter”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m lamp, U’r light.
I’m coke, U’r Sprite.
I’m (sawan)rain, U’r badal.
I’m normal, U’r pagal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can U tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist?
How can U tell the leaves not 2 fall when wind exist?
How can U tell me not 2 fall in friendship when U exist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Besan ki roti,
Lemo ka achaar,
Doston ki khushi,
Apnon ka pyar,
Sawan ki rain,
Kisi ka intezar,
Mubark ho aapko,
Barish ki bahar,
/ / / /
/ / /
/ /
Happy Rainy Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaj to bohot khush hoongay aap?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kiyon k, barish jo ho rahi hai
.
.
.
.
.
aur barish main to
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
sab hi maindak khush hotay hain...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaj badal kalay gehray hain,
aaj chand pay lakhon pehray hain,
Kuch tukray tumhari yaadon k,
bari dair say dil mein thehray hain,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaj halki halki baarish hay,
aaj sard hawa ka raqs bhi hay,
Aaj phool bhi nikhray nikhray hain,
aaj un main tumhara aks bhi hay,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BIRTHDAY SMS
if kisses were rain id send u showers,
if fun was time id send u hrs,
if u needed a friend id send u me!
*Happy Birthday To You Sweetheart*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It must have been a rainy day
when you were born,
but it wasn’t really rain,
the sky was crying because
it lost his most beautiful angel…
happy birthday dear friend...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Its a nice feeling when you know
that someone likes you,
someone thinks about you,
someone needs you;
but it feels much better when
you know that someone
never ever forgets your birthday.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY“.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lovely msg for a Lovely Person
from Lovely Friend
For a Lovely Reason
at a Lovely Time
from a Lovely Mind
in a Lovely Mood
in a Lovely Style
to wish you
Have a Lovely “BirthDay”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people like sunday,
Some people like monday,
However i just like only one day,
Its your birthday?Happy Birthday!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday to you,
Even though i wish it earlier i dun cared.
Dun forget bout our friendship, that we’ve shared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You can spend
hundreds on birthdays,
thousands on festivals,
lakhs on weddings,
but to celebrate
all you have to spend is your TIME….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know its your birthday 2day..
I am sure you’ll give me treat in a big hotel..
so i shall talk to u in personal there,
coz i dunno to express my feelings in SMS”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONGRATULATION SMS
You’ve graduated…
Its’ time for you to:
- Live it up
- To smile
-Take a bow
And time for me to say…
Congrats!Way to go and WOW!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations…
On your graduation!
Wishing you luck & success…
In all that you do!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hats Off To U!
You Were Simply Superb!
Congrats!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hurray!
Bravo!
Congrats!
Really Cool!
You Did It!
Way to go!
Great Work!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing!
Above the rest!
Awesome!
A+ Congrats!
You’ve come out…
top grade!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHRISTMAS DAY SMS
Don’t expect too much of Christmas Day.
You can’t crowd into it any arrears ofunselfishness &
kindliness that may have accrued during the past twelve months.
MERRY X'MAS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May this Christmas end the present year
on a cheerful note and make way
for a fresh and bright new year.
Here’s wishing you a
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish,
it grows small...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From Home to home,
and heart to heart,
from one place to another.
The warmth and joy of Christmas,
brings us closer to each other...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas is a time when
everybody wants his past forgotten
and his present remembered.
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties
is looking for a job the next day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A silent night,a star above,
a blessed gift of hopeand love.
A blessed Christmas to you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May this Christmas be so special
that you never ever feel lonely again
and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COLLEGE SMS
College is 4 knowledge,
knowledge is 4 life,
Life is 4 wife,
but wife is a knife
which cuts ur life,
So never choose a wife in college life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COOL SMS
In life there r 5 perfectthings u should never lose -
CHARACTER
SELF RESPECT
HOPE
HEART
&
????
Well, u know my name:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AM I CUTE? TESTcall,
if i m cute miss call,
if i m gorgeous Text back,
if i m pretty Text a joke ,
if i m charming Just ignore if u r jealous...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hardest part of
missing friends
is not their absence,
it’s when you think
of all those good times
and ask yourself,
‘will those moments ever
happen again?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISH.
but when u love a right person,u r COMPLETE.
and when u love a wrong person,u r FINISHED.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I
May
Not
Be
The
Most
Important
Person
In
Your
Life
But
I
just
Hope
That
One
Day…
When
You
Hear
My
Name
You
Will
Just
Smile
&
Say
Hey
That’s
My
Friend..!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gulab ka phool bano!
Q k yeh phool
us k hath mein bhi khusbu chor deta hai
jo isay masal kar phaink deta hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know who is the best couple in the world?....
Smile & Tears...rarely ,
they r seen together but
when they combine its the best moment of ur life...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes in life we think
we don’t need anyone,
But sometimes we don’t have
anyone when we need someone.
So,
hold good peoples around
&
never let your friends go!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DIWALI SMS
Har dam khushiya ho sath,
Kabhi daman na ho Khali
Hum sab Ke taraf se,
Wish you Happy Diwali...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diwali aai, masti chhahi, rangi rangoli,
Deep jalaye, dhoom dhadaka, chhoda phataka, jali phuljadiyan,
Sabko bhaye, “happy diwaliâ€...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Andhera hua dur raat ke saath
Nayi subha aayi diwali leke sath
Ab ankhne kholo dekho ek msg aayi hai
Diwali ki subh kamna sath layi hai.
†Happy Diwaliâ€
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For this, is a special time when family
And friends get together,for fun.
Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days,
In this festive season of diwali and always!!!!!!!!
“Happy Deepavaliâ€
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raat ko jaldii say nendh aagai,
Subah uthay to diwali aagai..
Socha send karon aap ko diwali sms,
Daikha to aap ki miss call already aagai...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
diwali ke subh apsar per
Mere sab des basiyo ko subh kamnaye.
Ish tyohar per apko hazaro khusi hasil ho
Asatya per hamesha satya ki jeet ho
Chahe aap kahin bhi rahe
Hamesha apno ka sath ho...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Na dimag se
Na zuban se
Na paigam se
Na message se
Na gift se
Appko happy diwali
Direct dil se...
EASTER SMS
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
after 24 hours everyone will wish u but I M THE FIRST 2 WISH U EASTER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Missing you a lot on this Easter.
Wishing you were here to celebrate
this holy occasion with me .
Happy Easter...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wishing U a Very “HAPPY EASTER”
Wid Luv And Best Wishes...
May That EASTER Day Brings
LOT of Happiness And JOYS in ur LIFE...
May u Live Long LIFE…
And That EASTER day Will comes in UR life Hundred Times…
Remember me in ur prayers...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The spirit of easter
is all about Hope,
Love and Joyfull living.
Happy Easter!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Easter feeling does not end,
it signals a new beggining of nature spring
& brand new life of friendship.
Happy Easter to My Best Friend!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The budding trees,
the new flowers,
& birds that sweetly sing,
whisper to me that it’s Easter.
Here is wishing a warmth for your
soulon Easter and always!
Happy Easter!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May the angels protect u…
may the sadness forget u…
may goodness surround u…
& may Allah always bless u…
Happy Easter!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EID SMS
Is se pehle k EID
ki shaam ho jaye,
Mera SMS auron ki tarha aam ho jaye,
Sare mob network jaam ho jayen
Aur EID wish kerna aam ho jaye…
“EID Mubarak“
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Allah
Aap ko
brown
balo wali
neeli aankhon wali
Gulabi honton wali,
Patli kamar wali,
Khoobsurat seengoon wali
.
.
gayee(cow)
atta karay qurbani k liye
Ameen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
((__))
“.=”””””)?
‘ y””+”y’
After few days EID UL ADHA (AZHA) will come,
I m the 1st 1 to wish you EID Mubarak
&
Also sending a cos as your EID Gift.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are awarded a bouqet of good deeds,
a vase of blessing,
a parachut of glad itdings
4 completing da holy ramadan.
EID MUBARAK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of all the days to celebrate
this out shines the rest,
Here is hopeing that
this EID is happiest and best...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish a wish for u.
The wish i wish for few.
The wish i wish for u is that
your all wishes come true
so keep on wishing
as my all wishes are with you.
“Eid Mubarakâ€
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXAM SMS
eXams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 sardar after exam
1st:Yaar mujhey kuch nahi ata tha
main paper khali chor aya hon.
2nd: Main bhi!
3rd:Shit yaar, teacher samjhegi
hum ne cheating ki hay:p
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations!
Good news for Karachi University students
Exams of Uni have been postponed upto june
To confirm goto site
www.stop dreaming & start studying.com...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baap:Itne kum marks..??
2 thappar lagne chahiyen.!!
Beta: Han papa!mein nay to us kameenay teacher
ka ghar bhi dekh liya hay…!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Har sawal say dut ker larna,
Phainkhnay me kami mat karna,
Moqa milay to pichay bhi dekhna,
aur 1 bat yaad rakhna,
aagay walay ka paper apna samajhna...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FATHER'S DAY SMS
Every mother generally hopes that
her daughter will snag a better husband
than she managed to do…
but
she’s certain that her boy will never
get as great a wife as his father did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dad, your guiding
hand on my shoulder
will remain with me forever.
Happy Father’s Day...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The greatest gift
I ever had
Came from God;
I call him Dad!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One
father
is
more
than
a
hundred
Schoole
masters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is easier for a father
to have children than
for children to have a real father.
I’m glad to have u dad,
HAPPY FATHERS DAY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If the relationship of
father to son could
really be reduced to biology,
the whole earth would blaze
with the glory of fathers and sons.
Happy father’s day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for being
there through the tears,
laughter anddirty diapers.
Happy Father’s Day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FLIRT SMS
Honey said
"I m d sweetest in d world
God laughed n said
"wait i think u hv not met d person reading this sms"
Moral:Even God lies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
U R 100% beautiful,
U R 100% lovely,
U R 100% sweet,
U R 100% nice, and
U R 100% stupid to believe these words...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Open with Love...
If I disturb U
I am Sorry!
But I need
To Say
I...
Love...
Disturbing you...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i look at the moon
the moon is beautiful
i look at you
i..i...
i rather look at the moon again...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn't it rain on you???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three types to break mirror:
1. Throw stone on mirror.
2. Take mirror and just drop it.
3. You just go and stand before the mirror and smile...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God made daylight n called it the SUN.
God made entertainment n called it FUN.
God made nightlight n called it the MOON.
God made U n called CARTOON.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mein tere pyar mein paagal hua chhaliye,
Mein tere pyar mein paagal hua chhaliye,
iodex maliye kaam pe chaliye...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FRIENDSHIP SMS
When u count best friends,
U may not count me;
When u count close friends,
U may not count me;
But when u really need a friend,
Just remember me .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gud frend wil come to bail u out if u r in jail...
A true friend cant,
think y???
?
?
?
?
?
becoz he will be sitting next 2 u...!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Weakly one day holiday
Monthly one day salary day
Yearly one day birthday,
Lifely one day death day,
But sharing ur FRIENDSHIP is every day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why u give mis call?
90 out of 1OO fools would reply for this msg.Send it 2 ur friends n check how many fools r ur friends...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 sec
1 min
1 hr
1 day
1 week
1 month
1 yr.
No matter how
long
we don't see
each other,..you'll
always be in my
heart as my "SWEET Friend"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Getting a
Friend is
Easy.!
Choosing a
Friend is
Difficult.!
Maintaining a
Friend is
Talent.!
Continuing the
Friendship is a
Great Gift .....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exclusive Roses for a Beautiful person like u,
frm a simple person like me..
Keep tat Roses untill they Dry,
Keep my Friendship untill i die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three lights
saving the earth from the dark
One "sunlight"
Two "moonlight"
Three "you"
My sweet Friend
100% tubelight...!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FUNNY SMS
Ladki Ne Coin Dalke
Vajan Dekha - 58kg
Sandal Utari - 56kg
Jacket Utari - 53kg
Aur Coin Khatam...
1 Bhikari Bola
Tu Chalu Rakh Sikke Me Dalunga!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.
Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?
Wife: Behan...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl announced her engagement to her father.
Father: Does this fellow has any money?
Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beggar: Saab 12 Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOY: Mein tum se shaadi nahi kar sakta
Isliye yeh lo apne luv letter
Aur mujhe mere wapas kar do...
GIRL:(badi si basket saamne rekhte hue)
Is mein se jo tumhara hai nikaal lo...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SON: I wanna tell u sumthing
FATHER: Its not good to talk when eating
(after eating)
FATHER: Now tell me
SON: There was acockroach in ur food...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!
Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho….??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,”Khanay mein kia hai”
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana:D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl:Me tumse shadi nahi ker sakti
isliye ye lo apne love letters
or mere mujhe wapis karo!
Boy bari c basket samne rakhte howay,
Is me se jo jo tumharay hain nikal lo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
“Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”
After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared& said,
”Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man standing on the scale,
holding his stomach in.
Wife:I do not think that is going to help.
Man:Sure it does.
How else could I see the numbers?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!
Major:Excellent!
We can attack in any direction now!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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